(UPDATED)Part 2 of Operation Travel Around for 3 Weeks: Completed

So as I mentioned in a previous post, we spent the better part of the four days before Christmas in Dhaka, Bangladesh for the 2nd wedding ceremony of two dear friends, Mithi and Drew.

Besides having the extreme pleasure of sharing this ceremony with old friends* this wedding was particularly neat because it was so international! The wedding party was a combination of Bangladeshi, Malay, and British.... when you included the guests there was representation from all over Asia including India, China and Singapore. We were able to add the US to the guest roster. The number of languages being spoken around us at any given time was both overwhelming and wonderful.

As such, there was a lot of combining of various cultural traditions and perceptions … and a lot of care was taken by Mithi's mother and father, in particular, to make everyone from all these different places feel comfortable. And as we saw and spoke with the hosts and the guests about how they saw these particular proceedings, it was clear that everyone there was was so happy for the new couple that they were predisposed to be pleased! :)

As out of towners we spent a lot of time with the other out of towner guests - particularly the Malaysian contingent, which was a real treat because so much of our conversations were about comparing Bangladesh to Malaysia and India. The Malaysians were pretty surprised by the poor quality of the roads, the "dust", and the more obvious signs of poverty ... while we, having just come from Kolkata, were disposed to think Dhaka was a cleaner, less poverty-stricken version of a big Indian city. In fact, besides the traffic (which was miserable), we really liked Dhaka a lot.

Wall to wall traffic at a stand-still... a pretty typical sight

Another typical sight - entrepreneurs taking advantage of a captive audience

But by far the icing on the cake of this trip was the fact that we were adopted by the wedding party as part of the family. We had been a little nervous that because of all the family and wedding events that we might not have had time to spend in close company with Mithi and Drew --- but we just felt so overwhelmingly honored that instead we had the opportunity to spend so much intimate time with both the bride and groom AND their immediate families as well.

It seems like pretty obvious logic, but I always seem to be surprised and then delighted by the joys of visiting a family in a new country. Yes, this was a wedding so all the various hosts were anxious to please … but, being included into a family circle – one that has different cultural norms than your own – is, I believe, the best way to navigate the preliminary ups and downs of any cultural transition … some helpers to teach you the ropes, as it were. Mithi's family (extended family played hosts as well) were always quick with kind words and offers to fill our already full plates.** Also, special mention needs to be made of Drew's British family, who - while not event hosts - were exceptionally inviting and welcoming of us into their crew. We all laughed over funny idiomatic expressions***, politics, and the ups and downs of living abroad - amongst other things... oh, yes ... and puns... lots and lots of puns.

So what all did we do?

The first night we were invited to Mithi's father's sister's house for a family dinner - a picture of which I posted earlier. WHAT A SPREAD! Little did we realize that it heralded more meals like that to come!

Next night was the Holud, a more intimate celebration with just family (there were only about 100 people there) where members of the couple’s families blessed the couple by dabbing their faces with turmeric paste and feeding them sweet curd. Most people would put a little paste on their forehead right between their eyes and then wipe off any excess … Allen went straight for Mithi’s nose (I love Mithi's sister's reaction in this photo)

The next day was free and so most of the out of towners took the opportunity to go shopping. Happily I ran into Mithi and Drew in the store and was able to sneak away and spend the day with them and Drew’s family in the botanical gardens and then at their hotel.

A stroll through the botanical gardens was like walking through a forest

By the third day it was time for the wedding reception, but before that, we spent the afternoon entertaining Drew with discussions of academia, juggling, 3-D printers, and metal-food composits - while Mithi spent the afternoon getting dolled up.

The reception was held in the Cantonment at a hall that was spectacularly decorated.

Mithi looked GORGEOUS in her grandmother's wedding sari - how amazingly cool is that! I wish I had a better picture of her all dressed but - to be honest - I didn't have the heart to stick another camera in their face ... as I'm sure you can imagine, they were the stars of the show!!!

We enjoyed ourselves immensely talking with other guests, getting our (over full) of food and sweets, and using the spectacular decorations to take silly Whiskerino pictures for Allen...

Mithi and Drew - a million bazillion thanks for inviting us to your celebration and for making us feel so warmly welcome! We came with well wishes for you and the expectations of being pleased by whatever we had the chance to experience ... and we came away with so many new friends, so many wonderful memories, and so many invitations to visit Malaysia, Singapore, and England. We really don't have the proper words to express how happily we spent our time with you and how we wish you nothing but happiness on all your future endeavors. And Drew, I've been asked especially by Allen to mention that he would be happy to throw bits of plastic at you any time you wish!

Mubarak Ho, Mithi and Drew!!!
________________________________________________

*Nikki and Mithi met during Nikki's year of study abroad in London back in 2004.
** We ate more meat - particularly in biryanis - in the those four days than we have probably in the last six months. (giggle) Never have we been so well fed and so full!
*** Our newest favorite expression is PANTS, which is a kiddy expression for something being bad... correct usage would be something like "Working on the weekend is absolute pants!" Note that "pants" in British means "underwear" in American. So it's like saying, "the Bristol bus system is Underwear!" (which means useless, rubbish, etc.)

(Belated) Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from India

Sadly we spent most of Christmas Day in the Kolkata airport .... though happily because we were on route to pick my parents up in Delhi to begin Part 2 of Operation Travel Around for 3 Weeks (Part 1 here, Part 2 here).

But to keep us in the spirit of the season we're sharing these two videos of Indian Christmas. They were first posted on one of our favorite "Westerners-in-India" blogs Our Delhi Struggle.
Hope they give you a good little chuckle...





We're sad we can't be home for the holidays this year -- although we hear traveling has been a nightmare because of all the snow (and now attempted terrorist attacks) -- but please know you are all missed and we're thinking about you!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!

Dhaka is totally winning...

OK - we've only spent a total of 24 hours in Dhaka, but its up their on our list of nice cities ... mostly because of the AMAZINGLY warm greeting we've received so far.

The parents of our friends Mithi and Andrew (whose wedding we're here to celebrate) have really pulled out all the stops ... from arranging for someone to meet us at the airport, to coordinating hotel for us and all the other guests coming from all over the world (UK, US/India, Malaysia, etc), and welcoming us to their home ... literally, look at this spread we had for dinner last night:

:)
yummy!
Allen was so excited to eat beef last night ... we're really not in India...

Part 1 of Operation Travel Around for 3 weeks: Completed

Our first stop on our whirlwind adventure over the next three weeks was Kolkata - which is a city that is pretty hard to sum up because it is full of so many opposite extremes. We took a long lay-over (2 full days) in Kolkata on our way to Dhaka primarily because there were several tabla maker shops Allen was interested in seeing.... our impressions are probably best described through a pros-cons list:

Very visible signs of public sanitation: PRO
Amazing what simply adding garbage cans on street corners will do. Also there really weren't any cows wandering around the city (only in the suburbs). The open sewers were still sort of there, but because there were long and wide sidewalks everywhere, you really hardly noticed it.

Blurred line between public and private: CON The sidewalks, as I said, were a plus and easily managed foot traffic --- as long as there weren't whole communities taking up residence on them. We've seen families living on the streets of large cities before -- maybe it was the presence of the sidewalks, I don't know, but here it had the feeling of being inappropriate ... or maybe it was just the sheer numbers of people living, eating, bathing on the streets that made it different this time.

Lots of Pretty Old buildings: PRO
The Victoria Memorial (pictured) is just one of the many examples of some amazing architecture. The city has little jewels scattered here and there - it is worth the look up every once in a while.

Lots of Pretty Parks: PRO
Hold-overs from when this was the British capital of India - but there was a very clear attempt and creating lots and lots of green space in this city

... that are over-run with goats: CON
I should mention that actually most of the parks were almost impossible to get into and out of because they were fenced in, in many cases with barbed wire ... the parks overrun with goats (and garbage) were the ones most like open (public) fields ... and accordingly they were treated as such.

Like any big city, traffic was a nightmare: CON
But not only for the reasons you might expect ...firstly, streets can have upwards of three different names (governments have changed many of the names for there own ends). Secondly, many of the major arteries were made one way streets ... OK ... but they change direction at 2pm... but the trolleys that are on the same roads do NOT change direction ... try keeping all that straight.

Public Transportation: PRO
I mentioned the trolleys but they also have buses, a metro, and a fixed-route auto-rickshaw system. Yellow ambassador taxis were definitely the most identifiable form of transportation, but the existence of the metro, in particular, was an out-of-towner's dream.

Existence of tana rickshaws: CON
I personally find riding in cycle rickshaws pretty hard sometimes (particularly when I need to go uphill) ... but imagine a rickshaw without the cycle - this gentleman is just pulling you by foot (not to mention that he's counterbalancing your weight so you don't go flying backwards). Just seemed like a seriously bad idea given how much gas-driven traffic there was in this city.

Motorcycle passengers were wearing helmets too: PRO
I even saw a family, father, son, mother, all wearing helmets on one motorcycle. Amazing!

Being accosted by begging children and grown men alike: SUPER-CON
Two memories that will be burned in my muscle memory for quite some time are literally pulling my clothes out of the fingers of small begging children and being touched by an adult man on the street. The heartache I felt at having to push a child away ... there aren't really words for it. Plus the embarrassment I felt at being touched -- I whirled around and shouted "Hey! @*%$ YOU!" --- and to have no one respond, and the perp just walk away as if I had just said a polite greeting. I want to believe that New York would be different (Allen disagrees) ... I want - no, need - to believe that in the United States if a woman confronted a man by shouting in his face, even if it was in a foreign language, someone in the surrounding crowd would at least have the response of looking surprised!

I'm still pretty jaded about these experiences if you can tell. Kolkata is probably the hardest place I've ever visited, period - let alone for India. You'll notice there are really no pictures - mostly because I was in shock all the time or was really uncomfortable about taking out my camera.

Was everything terrible? No, of course not, but it never is all terrible. This city was just so extreme that it was hard to get your bearings: you would find a little oasis, like Victoria Memorial or Park Street Cemetery --- which were relics of the Raj, mind you --- but once you stepped out onto the street again this city and its people were immediately back in your face.... begging, groping, washing, sleeping... Your 5th Ave and your Bronx were mixed up together on Park Street... it was hard to keep straight because many of the images you saw were troubling.

Is it better for these things to be hidden? Is that what they are in the US, just hidden? I'd like to think that we have better safety nets for families in trouble - but the truth is I just don't know. I don't think the US is perfect, but there is something so radically different about how people live on the streets here.

But maybe too this is just a part of the culture that I just haven't learned to wrap my head around: this difference between private space and public space. Americans (Westerners, if I can be so bold to presume) have a strong belief in protecting one's own and respecting other's privacy. We use sayings like TMI (too much information). We close our bedroom doors. We expect our children to want their own rooms and to eventually want their own homes --- and in some cases, this is a welcome relief to their parents so they can have their own space back. Yes, we're gossip hogs too: but we justify those tendencies by saying that celebrity's have given up their right to privacy by entering the public sphere.

One's own space... what does that mean, what can that mean in a country where multi-generational households are still the norm? But some things are private - breasts should be covered by duppatas .... and others are not... but minuscule blouses under your sari that shows your middrift is fine.

I don't really know... Kolkata really sort of messed with my head. I'm going through a moment of pretty extreme culture shock --- which is so unfortunate as we've got another two weeks of traveling to do.

There and back again...

So it slipped my mind to mention yesterday that we're leaving on a three week trip that is taking us all over the place ...

On Friday we're begin by taking a couple of days in Kolkata on our way to Dhaka, Bangladesh for the wedding of a dear friend of mine. After several days of wedding festivities we head back to Delhi to pick up my parents who bravely agreed to come visit us in India - even after reading all of my blog posts. We'll be visiting the highlights of Rajasthan in an almost perfect imitation of our honeymoon earlier this year: Udaipur, Jaipur, Agra, and then back to Delhi. Then home again to Lucknow, arriving just after Allen's second semester of Urdu classes start January 7th.

So it may be a while before another sizable post from us - but rest assured whenever it comes it will be a doozy!

How Language Shapes Our Cultural Norms

Students of linguistic anthropology would not be surprised by me claiming that language can shape our view of the world... but the impact of that process is hard to see when you're learning your first language because you have no basis for comparison.

I'll admit that when I learned the smattering of Spanish and French that I now have at my command, I didn't feel that a strong cultural clash was coming through my new found understanding ... most likely because those cultures, while different, were still Western and retained many similar underlying cultural principles.

Learning Hindi is like entering into a new and secret world.

First, you start off with an entirely new script and alphabet. Instead of your A, B, Cs you learn your Ka (क), Kha (ख), Ga's (ग) . Word order is entirely different, in your head if you translate literally you sound a bit like Yoda (Allen Ghar par hai = Allen home at is). But this isn't the stuff that shapes culture per say, just a sign of how two systems could develop differently. No, what I'm talking about starts popping up by Chapter 6 of "Teach Yourself Hindi"... these examples range from silly to more serious --- but hopefully we'll keep updating this list.

The infinite names for family relations
Following up from my recent wedding post ... not only do you have about a million names for your various family members, but they are all based on reference to the husband's family - because the wife has given up her family to join the family of her husband.

There is no word for boyfriend/girlfriend
Almost goes without saying in a culture of arranged marriages, but was still sort of surprising to learn. I've been told by several friends that "love marriages" as seen as synonymous with elopement and are distinctly frowned upon as being anti-social. Not hard to imagine given that it is not supposed you get to spend lots of time with your spouse (and hence really know them) until after you're married.

There is no word for "Please" b/c it is built into the language in different command forms or verb tenses/registers.
Again, not so terribly surprising if you've come across informal/formal "you" forms before, but what makes Hindi interesting is how many gradients of respect are available in the language. From Rupert Snell's "Teach Yourself Hindi":

tu - indicates great intimacy and is used in addressing a close loved one or a small child

tum - is informal and casual and is used with a person expecting no formality or deference - a friend, child or servant

ap - is relatively formal; it indicates the respect one shows towards equals (and above!) and is the natural choice in conversations with all people not falling into the previous categories

A good example of this distinction comes from a story one of our American friends told us. She was hosting a birthday party for her daughter and had invited all of the neighborhood children that she plays with. The mom was trying to get the children's attention for another game, but was using the ap form for her command and she couldn't understand why none of the kids would listen to her. Then one of the other mothers issued the same call for order in the tu command and all the children quited down ---- they weren't accostumed to being addressed in any way other than as tu.

Causative verb construction = Servant verb construction
This is pretty advanced grammer, so I don't know all the nuances of this construction - but there is a verb tense in Hindi that recognizes the presence of servants ... it is a very construction that says "I did this thing but through the actions of someone else". Like the difference between "I put out the fire (myself - implied)" and "I put out the fire by telling so-and-so to do it." It came up in Allen's class because they were watching a movie about a King - where all of his "actions" were done through some other agent.

This is just a work in progress ... hopefully we'll have some more neat language examples for you as we progress.

If you like it then you better put a bindi on it...

The title is a slight misnomer (but more on that later) ... we went to Banaras for a wedding last week and ended up staying to attend another one later that weekend.... The second wedding was a bit of a surprise, but we had always intended to spend some extra time in Banaras since Allen is planning to do his year of field work there -- I had never been before, so it was an opportunity for us to imagine ourselves living there (after all the time we've spent in Lucknow so far).

The Weddings
So I should preface all my remarks by first saying that I don't have the slightest clue what all is involved in a Hindu wedding --- I definitely have a better idea about some of the parts of the celebration, but by no means have a clear picture of all the proceedings.... thank you Wikipedia (click for article on Hindu wedding celebration). Essentially there are many different pujas involved in the wedding ceremony - mostly having to do with removing the daughter from her family and making that transition to her new family. The process can take several days - forcing the new couple to sometimes go without sleep for days ... sort of puts all the "stress" of my own wedding in perspective.

We attended the part of the ceremony that was the most public, meaning we picked up the groom, paraded him through town (literally, with a band and florescent lights on generators), took him to meet the bride at the shaadi-ghar (literally, wedding house), where they exchanged garlands of flowers, and everyone was served tons of amazing food. I'm sort of making light of the hours of parading and dancing and singing and laughing and cheering ... but I hope you get the idea from the following photos:

The happy groom on horseback

I didn't at first understand the need for the lights (or the generator attached to the lights) until we came across roads that were little more than gravel... they served as street-lights and I'm assuming were meant to prevent someone from breaking their neck while parading

What is a proper parade without dancing...

And what is proper dancing without a decent band

The happy couple, post garland exchange

Signs and symbols of marriage
I've been asking a lot about this in preparation for these wedding but have yet to get a definitive (authoritative) answer on the subject of what are the symbols of marriage in India. While our wedding bands have a lot of significance in the United States and the Western World in general - they have no meaning in India, where frequently both genders will be wearing multiple rings on each hand. While bindis (wore on the chakra between the eyes), nose rings, and bangles have been associated with marriage in the past, they are being adopted by the younger generation for fashion. I'm told the only real ways for Hindu women (because there are no signs for men) to mark they are married are to wear sindoor (red coloring in the part of her hair), silver toe rings on both her second toes, and a mangalsutra (a necklace of gold and black beads)

Dropping off the face of the planet

So, we haven't updated you on our comings and goings in a while - largely because I've been sick for almost 2 weeks straight ... but I'm feeling highly motivated this morning so hopefully I'll be able to churn out a couple of posts this morning

Our Whirlwind Trip to Hyderabad

(giggle)

So I told you last week that we were going to Hyderabad to visit a family friend's family for Thanksgiving .... so, like most of our adventures here, things were a little different than what we had originally expected.

We met with Allen's brother's work colleague - but he wasn't staying with his family - he was on a business trip and was the guest of a very important person and was staying at the equivalent of the an officer's club. So we were guests of the guest of a very important person and were able to bask in the warming glow of that hospitality for an amazing four days. This included having access to a car and driver - which was crucial because Hyderabad seems to have grown without much concern for city planning.

Where we were staying

My dad would be proud of our little adventure - we were waking up most days before 7am and having a very Indian dinner around 10pm... all the better to pack in as much as possible into the day! Sadly, at several of the sights we saw, I wasn't allowed to take pictures - but here's the rough outline of what we did:

Akber Miya Brother's Tabla Shop (see photo for contact details)

The elder brother, Nasim, talked to Allen for several hours and seemed very proud of Allen's interest in their work. The conversation seemed to reaffirm the idea that while all of the parts that make up a tabla come from all over the country (copper shells from Mumbai, rosewood from Uttar Pradesh, laces from Puna, etc) it is the maker who gives the tabla its city of origin.

Charminar

The crowds from the bazaar sort of spilled into this area - so we didn't get to spend as much time here as we would have liked. But there were great views of the old city and a wonderful cooling breeze.

Thanksgiving in Paradise (restaurant)

This is THE biryani place in Hyderabad... the one the locals take you to if you want the authentic local fare. While mutton biryani isn't exactly a typical Thanksgiving meal, after a long day of racing around all over town, it was very welcome and appreciated.

Birla Mandir Temple

A beautiful white Rajasthani marble temple dedicated to Lord Venkateshwara. It is up high on a mountain so you have amazing views of Hyderabad and Secunderabad. No photography is allowed, which was perfectly fine by us ... it kept the grounds as a real quiet sanctuary as opposed to just another tourist spot.

Ramoji Film City

About an hour out of the main city this place was a cross between Disneyland, Universal Studios, and a local county fair... it even had its own version of "Its a Small World" only all the characters were white ... no joke (video clip below)

It was just a little too over-done for us: too showy, too elaborate, too forced to recreate a "studio" where "big Bollywood productions" were shot ... if that was really the case would they have really let a bunch of middle-schoolers run around during shots?


Maybe it was all the middle schoolers that put us off - but after hanging around for a couple of hours and taking the tour of the old "sets" we were ready to come back to town.

Salar Jung Museum

What a strange place, it really was more of a personal collection of artifacts than a museum per say ... but was definitely worth the time we spent exploring it.... we saw an old musical clock and a statue that viewed from the front was of a man and viewed from the back was a woman... there was tons of Western art as well as India ... it really was quite an eccentric bunch of artifacts. We were told that when the gems and jewelery are on display it is a real sight.

Hitec City (Cyberabad)

If Bangaluru is India's home-grown tech capital than Hitec city is the foreign equivalent... Apparently Microsoft kicked off the foreign migration by investing in a 150-acre campus and others started following suit: we saw big names in American tech but saw several international banking firms as well, so it was pretty mixed bag. Following on earlier posts I've written about disparities here in India the Cyberabad vs Hyderabad distinction was too stark not to comment on: whereas the old city was so crowded and congested that it could easily take an hour to cross town by car ... Hitec city's streets were large, free of pot holes, and almost entirely empty. There were no street stalls, or restaurants, or stores of any kind. The campuses were intended to be self-sufficient (no need to leave the bubble)... So what happens to all the workers who currently live by all construction their working on? Those that stay on as janitorial staff will be bussed in from the city.

To be honest, the whole thing left us a little uncomfortable - on the one hand it seems that foreign investment has been able to make huge infrastructure improvements all while weeding through India's bureaucracy ... but, this infrastructure is for their employees, those lucky enough to work there. It really brought home a comment a colleague made to me recently that most of India is not feeling the impact of the technology boom that the rest of the world is remarking on. I'll admit that before moving to India, I knew only what was projected of India on the world stage: nuclear power, struggles with Pakistan, some trouble with domestic extremism, but a powerful economy and a growing middle class. The reality on the ground - from what I can tell - looks much different. The middle class I had been told about looks virtually non-existent (I'm told most of them emigrate to the UK, US, or Canada) ... the tech-boom is clearly not dispersed but for very specific city centers - and it seems hard to think how it could be otherwise given the state of public education in rural districts... Just really makes you think - how much does anyone really know about the countries we read about in the papers? How can anyone know, governments (especially) included, even know their own countries?

I digress

Jubilee Hills
This is one of the up-and-coming neighborhoods close to Hitec city... we went to a little park off the lake and (because we were there so early - 9am) we actually ran into a film shoot going on. I was able to take that very sneaky photo ... but it was for a Telugu film "Takita Takita" so keep any eye out for it back in the States.

Golconda Fort

Easily our favorite part of the trip.... it had been the capital of the State of Telangana before it was abandoned because of a water shortage. It was beautiful there - clearly a lot of effort has been taken to keep the grounds looking attractive because we saw many local families just relaxing and picnicking ... clean, comfortable, green public space was just something I had yet to see in India. It was a real oasis.

And last but not least

Dinner at Chutneys
You in the mood for a dosa and want at least four chutneys to choose from as condiments? Then this is your place. They are a super-popular, quasi-fast-food, joint with pretty outstanding food... Allen got a mint dosa and I got a garlic dosa --- quite a match, but both were a great treat for our last night in town.

So (if you've read to the end), this was a quick summary of our jam-packed weekend in Hyderabad. I think we both agree it is a place we would be more than happy to come back to. We're secretly hoping that this description of our trip will convince Allen's brother to take a business trip to Hyderabad so that we can go visit him there...

(wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

Happy Thanksgiving!

We know we're early - but we will be in Hyderabad over the Thanksgiving holiday, visiting the family of a family-friend (yeah!), and so don't expect to be linked (read: chained) to the internet like we normally are...

But we wanted to tell you all how thankful we were for all of your love and support. It is really hard being away from family and friends at the start of the holiday season... knowing about all the things we'll be missing .... the gatherings, the smell of cinnamon on everything, the leaves changing color*, the crispness in the air, and least we forget - the excuse to eat lots of pie.

But we think this year especially, we're feeling thankful for all the things we've taken for granted in the States... of the many privileges we've been afforded in our lives and never truly stopped to appreciate and think about how lucky we are. So thank you for the freedoms we've benefited from. And thank you for the rights we have grown accustomed to. And most of all thank you for our understanding of the responsibility we have to our fellow global citizens, for the knowledge of how best to help, and for the strength do what is right.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!!


*Thank you Allen's mom for the Blue Ridge Mountain leaves you included in your care package. That was a stroke of genius!

What your cell phone's dictionary says about where you live...

Generally I find that most cell phone's predictive dictionaries have some of the most random words... but this was a first for us. Also, Allen's name makes the dictionary as well ... coincidence .....?

Two Lucknows (3): Food Made by Love

*First, apologies for disappearing for a little bit --- so many things have been happening that it has been hard finding time to keep all the updates coming in a timely fashion. Long story short: Allen is still plugging away at his Urdu, tabla-playing, and tabla-making classes ... Nikki is studying Hindi, is almost 90% sure she's moving to Bangalore for an internship in the spring, and last week visited several farming villages near Lucknow - and is full of stories (if you can imagine).... but enough about all that - hopefully I'll be able to put up posts with more details on each in the coming week, before we head to Hyderabad for Thanksgiving.

So, the point of this post is to continue with this series of posts I started to show some of the huge dichotomies that are everywhere visible when you're living in India ... I'm not trying to put too much judgment into these posts - but just point out differences that, I feel, in the States we take for granted.

It shouldn't be a big surprise to most of you that it is fairly typical to have hired-help when you live in this country.... I mean, there is a grammatical construction for the presence of servants built into the language for crying out loud (more on that later)! Given the available labor force (huge!) people will take work to pay bills - period. Just for some perspective - at my office we were hiring a gender specialist and a monitoring and evaluation specialist ... and we were getting applications from people with PhDs in management and sales (unrelated fields) because they need the work ... it doesn't matter what the job is...

I digress... it is not uncommon to have a maid and a cook. So we, and the other American students in our building chipped in to split the services of a maid and a cook. Every Sunday through Thursday we go to bed content with full bellies from Love's cooking - yes, our cook's name means Love. I've always said that food made with love is the best - but I didn't know how true that was until I started eating food made BY Love. Needless to say, we're all very very fond of him. He's always so respectful, earnest, helpful and generally pleasant to be around. We laugh because he calls us the bare bacche (the big children) because he has to correct us on what vegetables go best together and what spices to buy --- but always in a friendly, sort of fatherly way.

We found Love through our Landlords -- we had mentioned to them (back before our relationship with them had soured) that we were in need of a cook and they quickly mentioned Love, he was the best because he was their cook. Timing wasn't an issue because he was their Alfred (re: Batman reference) ... a 'butler', but that word doesn't seem right for India, but calling him a man-servant sounds derogatory ... Love is their go-to guy... he was with their family 24/7, but was "rented" out to another family in the mornings to cook their lunches (to bring to work), he was "rented" to us around 6-ish for our dinner, then he came back to the Landlord's around 9pm to make them dinner.*
*Side note: Most Indian's eat absurdly late, around 9pm to 11pm because many of them don't get off work until 8pm. Sounds nuts right! Then you consider that most offices don't open their doors until 10am and most business don't open until 11am and it all starts to make (crazy) sense.

Note, that I said Love was "rented," that's important and comes up later.

So the end of our first month came and we were happy to hand Love his agreed to wages (not much by US standards, but a solid month's work here) ... when we tried to hand him the money he said "no" that it had to go through the Landlords. We had been told that, but we didn't see the harm in giving him the money directly. I don't know who/how it was asked, but we subsequently found out that Love was only given 1/4 of the salary we had agreed to pay HIM, the other 3/4 went to the Landlords for the use of Love's time.

We were stunned. We're really angry at our Landlords for cheating Love out of money we intended to pay HIM and also at a class system that can justify this type of treatment of other humans. Love is not a self-employed man who happens to help out the Landlord's family: he is their man and they decide how he spends his time and who he works for. While we were all initially very angry about the reality of this situation we'd entered into there was a split amongst our group as to how to deal with this new knowledge. On one side, it was suggested that the best way to respond would be to openly acknowledge our disapproval of how Love was being treated and demand that the entirety of the money that was intended for him be given to him. Essentially, turn the culture clash into an actual clash. The other side (which was echoed by the advice given to us by the Director of the Institute) was of temperance: fighting for his right to the money might only get him in trouble with the Landlords - and while our time in India was less than a year, this was his life and his livelihood we were meddling in. My biggest fear was that they would just tell him not to come to us anymore and just tell us that "he left" ... while he was working for us and seeing us on a regular basis, we could always give him his proper wages through gifts for his five-year old son, through our respect for him as a person, and for our very voluble appreciation for his skills... if they told him not to come, there would be no way for us to find him again and help him (modestly) in these ways.

It has been a while since this first came up - but it is hard to know whether we're doing the right thing. We think we are, that our motives aren't too selfish, that maybe... just maybe we are making a positive impact on his life. But we don't really know: Love is too much of the consummate professional to gossip or share his complaints about his lot in life...
"His lot in life" ... that is such a trope in the US, but we really do take for granted how mobile our society is. Yes, too many people still feel the sting of racism and class is a large determining factor in terms of what types of opportunities you have available to you .... but living in India, a greater percentage of the population here (than in the States) doesn't have any choice about what strata of society they live in. There is no mobility.

Love, by every indication seems like a literate, neat, well-fed man --- not properly middle-class, but doing very well for himself, from what I can tell. But what about the street children? Or the rickshaw-wallahs? Or the road workers wearing only plastic sandals? Or people without proper shelter at night? How can they "make-it"? What chance at upward mobility do they have? What is preventing all the Landlords of India from taking 3/4 of their wages? What social pressure is stopping this from happening, from people being taken advantage of? When labor is a dime (literally) a dozen - why will anyone fight back, when the Landlords of India will just find someone to work for them for cheaper and with less complaints? What can one do when this is the norm?

Follow up from yesterday's post about the fog ... now the rain...

So it seems the sky couldn't hold any more condensation nuclei, and so finally shed some of the pollutants with a light drizzle this morning.

Lucknow 9-24-2009 and 11-08-2009

Lucknow 11-12-2009 (today)

How do you get about town on the scooter in the rain, you might ask ....
Easily!

First, wrap your head in a scarf for warmth... bonus if it makes your helmet snugger...

Next, put on two coats, the bigger, the baggier, the better ... if people mistake you for a man at first glance, then you're doing it right

I really need to do an updated post about traffic in India - I'm trying to get the wording right so I don't scare my mom too much ... but things that really struck me about driving in the rain today included:
- Much less traffic, since it has to be nearly 70% of the traffic here in Lucknow is scooters/motorcycles/bikes/cycle-rickshaws people just decided to stay home rather than go to work.
- I was warned by the guards on my way out of the building this morning that I had my light ON... since it is daylight out, why would you need your lights on?

Fortunately it wasn't very heavy rain - otherwise I would have wished I had had wipers on my helmet ... and Allen is mentioning (as he's reading this post over my shoulder) that heavy rains cause the open sewers to flood ... and well, yes, I wouldn't have liked driving in that much at all. Don't know how much scrubbing I would need to feel clean after driving in that.

The Two Lucknows (2): The "Fog"

Lucknow 9-24-2009 and 11-08-2009

This is the view from our apartment window now that "winter" has set in in earnest (highs are in the 80/90 degrees, and lows in the 60s). With the "winter" comes the "fog". It isn't like any fog I've experienced at other times of my life --- it seems to hang around regardless of how hot it is or whether the sun is out (see the above picture which was taken near noon). This fog isn't wet (there hasn't been rain here for a while). This fog isn't cold (although, I imagine locals think it is cold, relatively speaking). This fog also does not hang near the ground - it seems to be hanging in just over our heads.... which leads me, and several other Americans staying here - I might add, to believe that this is not fog.

Wikipedia, my go to source for general explanations, suggests that:
"Fog formation requires all of the elements that normal cloud formation requires, the most important being condensation nuclei, in the form of dust, aerosols, pollutants, etc., for the water to condense upon. When there are exceptional amounts of condensation nuclei present, especially hygroscopic (water seeking) particles such as salt, then the water vapor may condense below 100% relative humidity." [emphasis added]

To me, this "fog" isn't fog in the sense that I've seen it most of my life, but rather is the (rather nasty) after affects of people burning garbage for warmth now that the weather has gotten colder.... yes, let that one sink in a little bit...

Some of you may remember our description of Delhi when we came in January, how we were totally overwhelmed by the pollution that everyone was calling "fog"... I just couldn't understand at the time where it was all coming from ... I didn't have the 100+ degree weather during September to force onto my understanding just how "cold" this 60 degree winter must be for people without decent shelters.

Shanty-town on Bulter Road

On my way to work everyday I pass by this pretty enormous shanty-town ... so un-PC of me, but I'm not sure what word to use. These are temporary structures to be sure, but I don't know what kinds of rights these people have to the land they are living on ... but similarly not 50 yards away there are several families that just sleep in the open air on the side of the road ... which is amazingly dangerous considering there are no proper sidewalks here (more on that some other time).

In the morning, I frequently see morning fires for breakfast and in the evening I see fires for dinner. In a big city, at first it is hard to imagine where they must be getting their fuel - there aren't really any trees around for firewood.... and then you just look around, and it becomes clear... sad, but clear.

Huge piles of garbage on the side of the road

I'm puttering on my little scooter and going to the nice part of town ... to work in buildings like this:

(Sadly) Typical Gomti Nagar view, palacial house next to hovel

I say scenes like this are typical - but it may be the case that as all the construction in Gomti Nagar starts dying down there will be less "mixing" of these classes ... as the construction laborers are moved out (have palaces built on the plots that once use to be their homes), so their homes will be moved to the fringes of these neighborhoods. I don't really know if this is true or what will really happen... I only know what we can see in the moment, which is just some pretty intense contrast between the haves and the have-nots.

But I don't want to leave you with the impression that it is just the underpriviledged who burn trash - I was stunned to see yesterday that the Taj Residency Hotel (Lucknow's fanciest hotel) burning garbage in the back on their grounds. So garbage burning is not solely done for warmth/cooking fires ... but also to just deal with trash.

Sad.

Reminds me of something Allen heard the other day .... India is a "free country" meaning, there are no rules to prevent you from doing anything you want - but that said, if you want something done properly you're going to have to do it yourself... no proper city sanitation and garbage disposal? No problem, just burn the waste in your back yard..... it is exhausting to be fighting against a world with no rules - so at some point, you just stop trying and just do what everyone else does.

[UPDATE: Allen wants to point out that he doesn't believe that people are cooking on garbage fires .... he thinks garbage fires are just for disposal and that during the summer, the rains clear the air and because it doesn't rain much in the winter we don't have that cleaning effect, so the smog builds up over time.
COUNTERPOINT: I totally agree with his point about the rains. But I think there are more fires now than there were in the summer just because of the temperature drop. And while I'll concede that they might not use refuse for cooking fires, but they most definitely are using old newspaper and scrap tinder-material from the garbage piles -- I think.]

One-sided Conversation: So how are you all doing?

I can't tell you the number of times, since first moving to Lucknow, that I've wished for cameras built into my eyes. There are always so many things that take be by surprise or that I want to share. I've got about 50 posts mulling in my head at any given moment and I'm just waiting to capture photographic "proof" before sharing it with you all (so maybe it is better for you that I don't have cameras in my eyes....)

But I'm also realizing that this blog is (naturally) a sort of one-sided conversation ---- you guys here all about how/what we're doing ... but we're missing out on what is going on back home.

Please send us your stories! Let us know what we're missing (because we are missing you all so much!) Your lives are important to us and we are hoping that in this case the limited news we've gotten from the States means your all happy and healthy!

WE MISS YOU!

Guest House Championship Cricket Tournament

As promised, here is the highlight reel from some of our pickup cricket games. We're trying to make a regular weekly event of these games - but will probably have to change our location (the owner of the guest house where we use to play was asking us for 4,000 rupees - approximately $100 - to play in her pretty crappy field). Hopefully, we'll find some eager (ringer) kids to play with us again.

Before the video, a few quick words on what a pick-up cricket game actually entails:
You can use any size pitch - but preferably some space large enough so that pop flies won't annoyingly be flying out of bounds all the time. No one actually uses a real cricket ball, which is made of leather and more akin to a heavier baseball. Instead, we use heavier versions of tennis balls - bouncy, but not too bouncy. For wickets, you can use any standing pile of bricks --- which incidentally makes identifying whether it has been hit a lot easier because the ball just flies after bouncing off of it.

Scoring: Runs are scored, by the batters racing back and forth between the two wickets (one run for each change of place). Depending on the size of the pitch though, you may decide to call certain areas "direct out" (out of play), "char-runs" (4-runs), or "che-runs" (6-runs), or "do-runs" (2-runs or stuck-in-the-bushes rule

Getting out:
- If a wicket is hit by the bowler during batting
- If a wicket (either) is hit while the batters are running, and that batter is not "safe" within the box around the wicket.
- If a pop fly is caught
- If the batter hits the wicket with his bat while batting

(there are a bazillion more particular rules, but these are just the basics)

Crucial points to note when playing the game:
- You don't have to run if you hit the ball (which is crazy)
- Catching a quasi-tennis ball with your hands is way harder than it looks
- Balls that fly into hazards generally are the subject of much discussion and debate ("Out karo!", "Nahien, char-run!")
- Don't let the little kids on the same team together, otherwise they will run circles around the other team

So, without further ado:

2009-10 Sharma Guest House Championship Cricket Tournament from Nikki Candelore on Vimeo.

Highlight reel ... it was a hodge-podge game with all ages and skill levels, but you should really check out the guys in the light blue uniforms, they were real pros...

Modern "Conveniences" ... Man-Power versus Machine-Power

A friend recently shared blog post about a completely unnecessary machine, the automatic butter spreader, which I feel perfectly typifies one of the starkest differences between India and the United States. Americans automate almost without thinking about it ... the author even goes on the speculate other ways in which the same machine could facilitate the cooking process at home. Ultimately, she decides that it might not be worth the investment for home use --- but there it is again, Americans would be willing to put up the up-front cost of a machine to automate work that could surely be done by hand...

This is a pretty silly, extreme example with the automatic butter spreader ... but I've noticed a lack of automation ... or rather a lack of consistent tools, where instead human labor and ingenuity is used (see Allen's previous examples with the workmen) ... For example:

You see ladders like this being transported around town all the time...
...seems more dangerous than it is worth though

Skyscrapers need building? Why not use bamboo and rope scaffolding? What?

We'll try to think (and find pictures of) more good examples for you ... Allen remembers the time he saw a guy climbing up an electrical pole just using rope, while his buddies were holding him up below - but sadly we don't have any documentation of that death-defying feat ... maybe in the next post.