The Smörgåsbord Post: Card Games, Monkey Attacks, HHDL, Homelessness, Extreme Cold, and Skin Freakouts

So, this is going to be a really weird post. I recognize that and am apologizing to you in advance.... it has just been a REALLY weird couple weeks back in India.

We told you already about all the fun we had visiting family this holiday season: weddings, winter-wonderlands, you name it!

We finally landed in Delhi, exhausted, but incredibly excited to spend the next week with our friend's Hamsa and Danika. We all made fast friends last year bonding while we waited for 3 hours at the Banaras FRRO office* ... the big pay off in this relationship though, is that they are a card-game playing family too! We've finally found another couple to play bridge and pinochle** with! We made good use of our time in Delhi to have a couple of marathon card playing sessions. You can see our set up below; we're all ringed around the coffee table, we've got two blowers(ie, glorified hair dryers) to raise the temperature, and we've sealed off half of the living room with blankets (to increase the efficacy of the fancy hair dryers).***

My, what a nice hand you have Allen

We had other adventures too...

Danika and I went to see His Holiness the Dali Lama speak. He was wonderful. His giggling is infectious. He taught on the different levels of happiness - and the strongest message I took away from his lecture was: doing good for others, in the long run, makes us all happier, so we would do well to focus more on others than just ourselves. Not a bad take away, given we were nearly trampled on the way into the auditorium and almost froze from exposure b/c the space was in no way weather-proof. I wonder if there was another lesson in there...

The boys, on the other hand, were attacked by a very protective mommy monkey. She and her baby have been hanging around the balcony of the flat for a while ... But one day when the boys were home doing laundry she came after them. I've embedded below the video Hamsa took of the monkey attacking the window. You can hear the boys trying to make noise against the window to scare her away - but that only seems to antagonize her more.

Intense, no? None of us have ever seen a monkey be so aggressive. We wondered if it was because she seemed to be alone. Usually, you see these types of monkeys in large family packs (males, females, babies...), but maybe since she's by herself she feels overly protective of her newborn... although, really, the baby seemed to be way less scared of us than we were of it.

Adventures aside, after a full week in Delhi, I was feeling a tremendous amount of "country-displacement" vertigo; one minute I was in the United States, the next I was in India. Living in Delhi is no cake walk, and I don't want to paint it as such (what with the increased incidence of asthma, insane traffic, perpetual construction, and weather extremes... just to name a few). But I sometimes forget that in Delhi one has access to a whole host of creature comforts that we had all but given up on in Uttar Pradesh. So, especially when we were visiting friends with 24/7 electricity and blowers and decent wine (what?!) and access to cheese and good Thai food (double what?!) and can BAKE (triple what!?) cherry strudel in their toaster ovens (where the hell am I!?).... well, let's just say it gets complicated. Spending time with our friends in Delhi was like being in a warm cocoony blanket of things-I-miss-from-home that I seriously had difficulty leaving.

But leave we eventually did for our apartment in Banaras. Oh wait, that's right, no we didn't. There was some confusion from our hosts about what date we were returning to Banaras - so we had to stay in a hotel in their non-AC room (read: with an air vent to the outside) for two FREEZING and surprisingly mosquito-filled evenings. Complain, complain, I know... But it just got us started off on the wrong foot, if you know what I mean. It took us longer to regroup in Banaras than we had been expecting.

And just to spice things up, my hands, face and neck are covered in eczema. I had been having trouble with my hands before we left for the States. I assumed it was just some crazy allergy I had, so in advance of returning I was taking Zyrtec as a preventative measure. Lot of good that did (click to enlarge the photos for the full affect)

I'm personally at a real loss for what to do next. I think it is heat rash around my neck and face because of the extreme of the cold outside of the warm blankets we use at night - seriously, I'm not joking. My hands... no clue. An allergy of some sort, I'm guessing - but the speed and violence of the attack, despite having taken preventative meds, is a little baffling. If extremes of temperatures really is my problem, then there isn't anything I can do about it. Inside the house (day and night) temperatures are hovering around, my best guess is, 45 degrees ... outside, with the sun beating down on you it is closer to 70 degrees ... but by the time the sun goes down...

There is no good way to stay a comfortable temperature. Couple that with my face and neck burning with itch and my hands so .... what is the word ... sensitive that they sting anytime I use them.... well, I'm not really a happy camper at the moment, to put it mildly.

So it has been REALLY REALLY strange for us coming back "home" ... I commend any of you readers who have made it to the end of this post because ... this is just weird what has been happening lately.

Hopefully, I'll have happier stories to share after the kite festival this weekend!

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* Foreigners Regional Registration Office. Registration is required for most long-stay visas, like research visas.

** One day I hope to be able to spell this game's name without having to always look it up.

*** I'm sure to have mentioned how insanely cold it gets in North India during the winter time. Frequently it is warmer outside, in the sun, than it is indoors.

Christmas Miracle(S)!

I'd say it was pretty much a miracle that we were even home for Christmas at all! We're both still floored that we're here -- really really here for Christmas this year.

But so many exciting things have happened since we got back to the States: so many ups, downs, and full-out miracles that I had to share.

Firstly, of course, was Richard and Mary's wedding - without which we would not have been home for the holidays! What an absolutely wonderful excuse to come back; "You mean we get to come see our families for the holidays AND get to participate in this really important day for the family!?" .... win win, as far as we were concerned.

The handsome couple

It really meant the world to us that we were able to see their nuptials in person. Better still was all the time we had before and after the wedding to mix and mingle with Mary's family. Mary and Richard just seemed so happy together ... we can already tell that she'll be a great addition to the family*

I had a hard time choosing which pictures I should post from the wedding ... but figured the ones showing how much everyone was enjoying themselves would be the best. And the winners from "the-most-fun-at-a-reception" are our nephews Joseph and William ... give 'em a hand folks!

"Look, Mom, I'm having a great time!"

The second Christmas miracle was all the fun of Christmas morning, including a visit from Santa Claus!

BELIEVE!

The toys that made the biggest splash this year were two ROBOT DINOSAURS that could roar, stomp and walk by themselves. Seriously cool!**


And who could forget the greatest Christmas miracle of all... SNOW ON CHRISTMAS!

Got you Daddy!

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas...

But ... umm.... wait a sec. Weren't we flying to NJ that afternoon?

Ooops!

Which brings me to our final Christmas miracle... despite being delayed 2 hours and Allen having the beginnings of strep throat (poor baby!) ... We made it to NJ safe and sound. In fact, we were pleasantly surprised by all the workers at the Asheville airport - despite the delays and the poor weather everyone was cheerful and doing their best to get everyone home for Christmas***

So I hope that wherever you were, that your Christmas was as happily surprising as ours was!

Merry Christmas, Everybody!
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*Nice pick, Rich!
** Some of you may be aware of my completely normal obsession with robots
*** Maybe the last real miracle was getting out of the airport without seeing tempers flair or fights break out

Our Trip to Goa: Hippies, Hospitals, Heat Rash ....

and beaches... we can't forget Goa's beaches.

Never fear dear readers, neither of us had to be admitted to the hospital while we were in Goa - but unfortunately one of our new friends was ... but we'll get to that in a second.

Goa is like a little fantasy-land in India* with beautiful beaches, a relaxed local population, and imported western foods!!! We ate leafy green salads multiple times - and didn't get sick! We had pesto pasta and fancy cheeses! Having sauteed tofu and tempeh over brown rice with Thai peanut sauce and steamed vegetables felt more like the Laughing Seed in Asheville, North Carolina than anywhere else in India.... it was like we were in California!

Hippies
Actually, the number of foreign ex-pats and tourists also made it feel a lot like California. We met travelers from Australia, France, the US, Sweden, Germany, Turkey, Libya, etc....

We were there to spend time with our friend Neptune and his mom Gypsie ... and their community of fellow ex-pats, Goa's die-hard hippies. Some of these folks have had their home base in Goa since the 1970's ... some are more recent transplants ... but all of them share a love of hanging out at the beach and enjoying a life without strict rules or expectations... maybe now is the time for the beach ... maybe now would be a great time for a nap... maybe now would be a good time to eat... maybe now would be a great time to watch the sunset.

Many of them are retired or if they are still working they focus their energies on things like the Wednesday Market or Saturday Night Market ... or performances they've scheduled in Goa or around India (like Neptune) ... but let's just say their hours are definitely not 9 to 5.

Wednesday Market in Goa

For those of you that don't know, Allen and Neptune met at circus camp (Camp Winnarainbow), a performance art camp for kids, almost six years ago. They bonded over their mutual love of juggling, unicycle riding, tabla, and performing (read: generally being hams). Neptune was actually born and raised in Goa - though, as the son of a self-proclaimed gypsy, he has spent a lot of time traveling around the world and generally would escape India's monsoon months in California at circus camp... thus a more natural performer you have never seen!

The skill he is particularly famous for is unicycle riding - I swear, this boy rides the unicycle like it is a part of him ... add his mad juggling and poi skills and you have the making of a pretty serious act. In fact, he gets work all over India as word of his performances have spread. He even put together an impromtu performance for his own birthday party!

The audience awaits...

Mad skills!

We had so much fun just hanging out with these folks. It was such a different pace of life from our "normal life" in Lucknow! Still on India-Standard-Time (read: Things happen when they happen) ... but so much less stressful or hectic. This really was the perfect break from ... well, from India, really.

Hospitals
Reality did find a way to sneak itself into this trip: a fellow friend of Neptune's, who was also from out of town, got really really sick on our second day in Goa. Things had started off so sweetly, all of us playing at the beach ... hanging out at a beach-side chai stall till sunset ... but by the next morning she had a fever of 104 degrees and wasn't able to hold water. Despite early visits to the doctor, after three days she wasn't getting any better. So the decision was finally made to take her to a local hospital where we learned she had food poisoning and an intestinal infection (something she had probably picked up weeks earlier and was only now hitting her). She was told to stay for at least three days, but potentially up to five days... which totally blew everyone away when we heard it... spending three days in an Indian hospital! Wow!

So we did our best to keep her spirits up ... Neptune frequently spent the night at the hospital with her and we called her sister who came from Bangalore to also keep an eye on her ... we brought her iPods, a computer, and the first two Harry Potters ... but, we couldn't really change the fact that she needed to be resting in a hospital under the supervised care of professionals.

So this is now our second experience with Indian hospitals and I gotta say, I'm still not very impressed. The first hospital was larger, newer and amazingly cleaner (despite the bugs) ... The hospital our friend in was staying at was older, dingier, and had definitely seen better days. But where the second hospital really shined was in its attentive staff: the nurses really took care of her, telling jokes and even offer to sleep in the same room with her while she slept. The staff generally was interested in keeping her comfortable - which was such a blessing.

That said, we were all really struck by how she paid her hospital bill at the end of her stay. She had a conversation with the head doctor about how much she would be charged. He gave her a hand written receipt that added up (surprisingly evenly) to 6,000 rupees. She said that was much too much for her to pay, but could he give her a "round number" in the 5,000 rupee range. And he agreed to a 10% discount and they settled for 5,400 rupees. We had no idea you could also haggle your hospital bills down! We told her the price seemed decent, given she had stayed there at least three nights and was getting so much saline and antibiotic solutions - Allen's four hour stay back in September cost us about 2,000 rupees. She said that was because of the color of our skin and the fact that we hadn't bargained (I should explain that she's from Bangalore). She said that the doctors generally size up a patient and ask for what they think the patient can pay. She thought that if she had been Goan then the price would have been much lower. I have to keep reminding myself this is a free country and the "rules" can be applied in an arbitrary fashion given the circumstances.

Totally unbelievable.

Heat Rash
Yes, yes, my heat rash was back with a vengeance. Though in all fairness, it was pretty stupid of us on the first day to get to the beach around 11:30am and stay out all day until sunset. Allen and I are pretty convinced that I suffer from what we're calling "boiling frog syndrome" - the change in temperature is too drastic for my skin and so I get something more than just heat rash ... yes, there is some aspect of it that starts off as heat rash ... but when I start getting rash like bumps on the back of my hands, for instance, it isn't about too much sweat...

We figured out ways to minimize my discomfort, the most important being that we would hit the beach early and get out of there before 11am and would spend the entire day indoors taking frequent cold water shower to cool off.

By the time we left Goa (of course) my bumps/rash was basically under control. We figure that if I had had another week or so they would have been completely gone. Oh well, next time I guess we won't be so stupid on our first day.


So all in all we would say our trip to Goa was a success ... not without its excitement ... but it was amazing being in fantasy-land for a week. Thank you to all our friends there who made this trip so wonderful for us!
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* Sorry Mom and Dad for not taking you to south India, which we can confirm is "India Lite"

"Americans are very time oriented people..."

"It's true, it is a very Western concept - time and scheduling. Not something that is very typical of the East"

This was from my Hindi teacher last week. The crux of his argument was that many of his previous American students suffered under the burden of wanting to get certain things done within a particular time frame ... "I will learn the script in a week!" ... "I'll finish a chapter a week in the lesson book!" ... My teacher said ideas like that can be very detrimental in a place like India, where schedules and timing are virtually no existent.

"Oh, the concert says it will start at 7pm? Best not to show up before 8pm."
"The repairman said he'd be back in a half hour? Hmmm... guess we'll be hanging around the apartment for the rest of the afternoon."
"Oh Hello! So good to see you, I wasn't expecting you ... ummm... didn't you say you would come by last week?"

We've learned a long time ago that time doesn't mean the same thing here. Another thing to add to the growing list of things I took for granted back home, but, you'd be amazed how much more efficient you can be while errand shopping when there are sidewalks... when at best you're delayed by a "slow-walker" ... rather than dodging cows, crap, and cars! Our running joke/sanity-maintaining-mantra is "Even getting one thing or errand done in a day should be considered a big accomplishment" ... so why should it be any different when it comes to school work here?

I'm laughing (instead of crying) about my teacher's advice because it came on the very day I had started my new "school schedule." I was frustrated by the fact that my time hasn't been very organized during the day - I didn't feel any sense of accomplishment because I couldn't ever see an errand/project/reading the entire way through. So, I wrote out a class schedule for myself: while Allen was away at school at the Institute, I started school at home. An hour of Hindi, and hour of computer science, an hour of history/economics/political science reading! Accha (good)!

Hours after my Hindi teachers prophetic warning about setting myself up for disaster, I wasn't feeling well. By the end of the evening I had an elevated temperature and by the next morning I had a full blow fever. Allen lovingly took me to the doctor - who diagnosed me with an amoebic infection* - and looked after me for the next couple of days... which was a real help because I was totally delirious because of the fever.

I wouldn't say I'm back to 100% yet - but, I can't help but laugh (instead of cry, remember) at the delicious irony that I was really put in my place about trying to keep a rigid schedule.... It also makes me think about India as being the birth place of Buddhism: life is impermanence, trying to force the universe to bend to your desires will only result in frustration and anger; it is better just to accept the circumstances that life hands to you.

I'm still working on that acceptance part ... but we'll see.

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*Side note: (Not that much can be done about it) But I'm tired of *always* being diagnosed with "traveler's diarrhea" when I'm sick. It wasn't my stomach that was the problem, I had a fever ... but invariably it seems that when one of us videsh (foreigners) get sick we're prescribed a regime of antibiotics/probiotics and told to go home. I get it that we're not use to all the germs here ... but please! We've had more antibiotics in the last six months than maybe I've had in the last 10 years.

Many thanks for the advice and well wishes!

What an active community of followers we have!

Many many thanks for the outpouring of sympathy and advice related to our "difficulties" the past week or so.

So much of it was so pertinent that I thought I would repost some of it here (in case any of you are still contemplating coming to visit):
- Amex can give you recommendations for hospitals before you leave, and generally as a foreigner you can get into the more expensive and english-speaking hospitals
- Don't drink tap water. The main thing is not to drink or eat anything that hasn't been proactively sterilized (boiled and filtered being the best way -- but when in doubt just buy sealed bottles of water, it is ALWAYS worth the money). For example, we keep a new water bottles in the bathroom to use when we brush our teeth.
- Never eat raw vegetables. Eat only the insides of fruit and don't cut it with a knife not certified clean.
- Generally just be proactive about germs!

These things are pretty easy to keep to with success when you're a tourist - Allen and I had no issues when we came in January for our honeymoon. We were visiting tourist places, staying at tourist hotels, and eating at tourist restaurants: all places that understand the immune-needs of foreigners, and who have something at stake to maintain their reputation in the Lonely Planet guides.

That said, our best guess is that we just got something bad to eat at a local restaurant or some water got in the mouth during a shower or the list goes on. There is a very zen saying amongst the students here that this sort of thing is bound to happen at some point (if not more than once) during your long-term stay and it is just one more thing to deal with, like the heat.

Thankfully we're both on the mend and as my mom put it to me in an email the other day "after this, the rest of the stay will seem like a breeze, right."

Right.

Round 2

Will this never end?!

So Allen was on the mend yesterday, which considering the ordeal he went through was a wonderful development ...

So imagine our surprise when I wake us up at 4:30am this morning with "Delhi Belly" --- argh!
We weren't fooling around this time so I promptly took our emergency azithromycin (antibiotics) ...

But I was still delirious all day today and felt as if I had a cement brick in my stomach. Not fun.

This afternoon some of the other students Allen studies with thought that my symptoms might suggest a parasite (NO!) ... so we took my temperature and I was reading 101.6 ... crap.

Allen launched into action and took me to a local clinic where the doctor said she didn't think it was a parasite (though she didn't seem all that concerned about my fever, 'It happens') and diagnosed me as just having food poisoning like Allen. She sent me home with three days of a cocktail of antibiotics, pro-biotics, and antacids.

I still have a fever and my heart is racing (over 100 bpm) ... but fingers crossed regardless of whether it is a parasite or gastro intestinitis the antibiotics should run their course and at least bring the fever down.

(sigh)

I don't really know what to say about all this. It is as if this country is intentionally challenging us - which is ridiculous .... or is it?! Mwaha ha ha ha ha (rubbing hands conspiratorially)!

Welcome to India

...that was the title of an email my mother-in-law sent to me after telling her about the insanity of our weekend.

We had a lot of fun setting up the apartment, seeing a bollywood movie ("Dil Bole Hadippa") about a woman who cross dresses to play cricket for the Indian national team - very worth a view, watching workmen install our washing machine (yeah!), and meeting my new "boss" (though the project itself won't get off the ground for the next 3 weeks because of paperwork complications --- ah, India)

That was the light-hearted side of our weekend ... the more challenging (to put it lightly) parts included Allen having to go to the hospital for dehydration and Nikki's ezcema exploding in a bad way...

His insides...
It happened two nights ago during our dinner with my new boss. Allen stomach was upset, but he didn't really seem sick, just as if something he had eaten had upset him and once it was out of his system it would get better ...
But even after an initial purge it wasn't getting better, it was only getting worse and worse.
He wasn't able to hold anything down, not rehydration solution, not even water.
By 11 he was in a really bad way and I was at a loss for what to do ... Allen didn't think he needed to go to the hospital until the morning, but thankfully when we called the director of his Institute ("in case of emergencies...") he offered to help coordinate a taxi to get us there (hallelujah!) ...
I wasn't comfortable making the suggestion myself because I didn't know enough of (any, really) of the language to manage to get us anywhere safely.

Language ended up being more of an issue than either of us had expected --- but amazingly, despite his delirium Allen was able to speak like a star. Seriously, he was talking with the driver and doctors (for all I could tell) very intelligibly, which I can't say I would have been able to do in a similar situation. It was so scary how little I was able to communicate, so I thank our lucky stars that Allen was cogent enough for that... though he related to me after the fact that he probably sounded like you would expect anyone sick to speak, slow and haltingly ---- but that he was able to speak in Hindi/Urdu at all was what I considered a miracle, because I don't know how we would have gotten through this ordeal his language skills. Yes, there was one doctor who spoke (impeccable) English, but he hardly spent more than 15mins tops with us during our 5 hour visit to the emergency room.

Visiting the hospital emergency room was an experience I hope to never repeat (in India) again if I/we can help it. I helped Allen walk to the the emergency room of the hospital, after we had both removed our shoes before entering. It took me a while to get anyone's attention to get him to a bed or even to attend to him ... frankly, despite how quite the whole floor was (see picture) I felt that generally the staff couldn't give two shakes about taking care of Allen. Look, I understand that he was only dehydrated and not bleeding profusely or injured with a broken body part -- but frankly, given all the screaming we could hear from other parts of the ward, I'm not disposed to think that they cared to much about anyone else there either.



Maybe he wasn't "important enough," I don't know, but between him being ignored and no one speaking to me it just felt like we were very much alone.

They had me run to the pharmacy three or four times to buy the medicine that Allen was being given ... here instead of just one bill at the end of our stay, they will charge you each time something is used and have the family member (or person responsible for you) run to the pharmacy to pay for the replacement syringe, solution, medicine, whatever ... thankfully because all Allen needed was essentially saliene solution, we were able to cover all the costs with cash in hand, but I was worried each time I went to the pharmacy because I couldn't tell by the slip of paper I was bringing to them how much any of those items cost.

We were there between midnight and 5 am, because to stay any longer would have meant being admitted ... which on the surface doesn't seem like it would have been a bad thing for him to have gotten more rehydration solution intravenously, which we obviously weren't able to do at home and seemed to be making a marked improvement in both his coloring and his consciousness ... But no one was really paying him any attention and starting at about 1:30/2am the bugs started arriving.

It started with finger-digit-sized beetles running along the wall. Not something to freak out about, but unnerving nonetheless. Slowly they started getting bigger, with index-finger sized crickets just wandering through the ward without a care in the world (remember everyone has their shoes off in this part of the building). I was noticing on each of my trips to the pharmacy that crickets en masse were coming through the main door of the building, most were being squashed right there (if someone cared to do it) but some few brave through were able to venture all the way to the emergency room ... I would have to dodge this mass cemetary of crickets every time I went to the pharmacy (I was so thankful we were smart enough to think of putting on sneakers and socks before leaving the house)

By dawn we were out of there, bill paid, and on our way back to the apartment, a little worse for wear - but under the circumstances it was MUCH better that we had gone and gotten some fluids in Allen than not. I was just inscensed at their inattentiveness to his needs and was thankful that he could finally rest (properly) at home.

Her outsides...
For those of you know know of the trials that I've gone through with my skin, it should be no real surprise that between the stress of the hospital experience, coupled with the heat, and discomfort I was feeling at not being able to sit down properly for 5 hours (I only had a stool to sit on, which I took myself because no one was offering me anything) ... that by the time we came back I had a full body episode of ezcema.

I don't know what ezcema (or whatever this is called) is like for anyone else, but for me, my whole body will break out in mini-boils that are extremely itchy and sensitive to touch. I'll spare you from the pictures I took of what they look like (documentating the disease), but it isn't pretty.

If there is one "happy" thing we can take away from this experience I think it is that we have a better understanding of what are the causes or irritants that make my skin worse.... HEAT. Plain and simple - I say that, but it has taken years to even get this deep of an understanding because (obviously) I do my best to avoid situations where my skin will freak out.

We're pretty confident now (95% certain) that the cause is a dramatic change in temperature that my body isn't initially able to adjust to. I'd ball-park it at a 20 degree difference in temperature between NYC and Lucknow, and 30+ degree difference in the sun. My body can't take it so, it freaks out --- but we've found that if I soak in cold water (in a kiddy wading pool I brought with me) that my skin's temperature drops dramatically and the redness and the swelling goes down markedly ... Just for clarification, I don't have a feever and am not, outwardly-seeming, sick ... but my skin is always hot - most likely as a consequence of the reaction my skin is going through.

The real question is - will my skin stop freaking out as the weather gets colder? will it get worse again as it heats up in the summer? or will I be aclaimating at that point so it is not that bad?

We're not gonna know the answers to any of these questions for some time --- but I gotta admit, I'm nervous about how bad it has gotten so quickly. I mean, I wasn't so naive not to expect something to happen, but ... well, I didn't expect this.

------

So, we've been better. But we're not dead, right? Just kidding. We're OK now, much much better (behot acha) ... but we're laying low for the next little while, just enjoying our washer* and eating peanut butter and banana sandwhiches.

*Note on the washer, which I thought you would all appreciate. They put it in the second bathroom - and bathrooms in India gernally (though usually not in tourist hotels) will just have a shower head and a drain in the floor -- very practical, and easy to clean.
But, for the washer, they set it up to take advantage of the floor drain and just use it for the washer as well so it looks something like this:

So much for multi-tasking; taking a shower while standing in laundry drain water doesn't really look like it is in our cards...