Change of Plans

So, some of you may have noticed that it is almost February and I'm not *yet* in Bangalore.

Well, there's been a change of plans.

Suffice it to say, when push came to shove, I was not ready to live by myself in India. Maybe I'll go to Bangalore some time on our next trip (later this year) ... but right now, no. Being able to come home and have Allen (or frankly any of the other the other AIIS students) to talk to is like a breath of fresh air, like touching home base, like ... the reality check you just need here some times ("Yes, that really did just happen").

I feel mixed about the decision.... I feel tremendous relief and comfort knowing that my next couple of months will be spent surrounded by things I've become accustom to; but part of me also feels like I'm further away from really knowing what I'm doing with my time here. Yes, there are Hindi classes and learning I can do from books about computer science ... but I can't help feeling like I don't know what I'm working towards yet ... I don't know how all that I'm working on (or not working on) here will be useful to me in the future.

My dad always use to say that "nothing is wasted" in life ... that some of your most random experiences can come back to help you in the future.

I guess, right now, I'm just not so comfortable with the idea of not knowing what my future is...